Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How external is "for external use only"?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
