apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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