I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
