I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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