eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
