Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
