At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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