I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
