At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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