I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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