Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
im on a boat
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