Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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