After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
