I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
