is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm passing your future prison.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
