ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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