I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
