Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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