Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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