well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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