you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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