the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
