i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
