Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
