Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
