Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hippo gnu deer
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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