are you still at the devil's house?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
