he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She just used a chaser for red wine.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
