just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
should my penis look like a turkey
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
