Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
