In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
