There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
