If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize