I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
