I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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