Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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