the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
