He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
