So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
