He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
