I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
FUCK WHALES
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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