you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize