We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
