i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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