There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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