I need help removing her.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
