hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
