is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
