They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
