I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
