Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
