I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
