guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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