We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
