is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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