Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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