sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
