I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
