My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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