that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
