Having a random hookup so left but love u
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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