do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I only lived at night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
