have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
