They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
