she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize